Silk Road forums
Discussion => Drug safety => Topic started by: CX on April 11, 2012, 01:11 pm
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Entering the vibrational platue.
I was bored one night and decided to try, what, in retrospect was a large to very large amount of MXE. I was hoping it would help me get to sleep. Boy was I wrong.
This was my second time taking mxe. I really underestimated the purity and the power of this chemical.
Around 9:30 I took around 100mg followed by another 50mg approximately, eyeballed. Possibly more. (Snuffulated)
Given that this stuff takes a relatively long time to come up on I was unwise in redosing and have definitely learnt a valuable lesson and gained a strong
respect for this compound. Be patient, let it work. It will work.
So it's coming on, everything has a very sci-fi feel to it, what's that buzzing? How could anyone sleep with all that buzzing. All the multicolored lights from the computer components in my room give me a very space age feeling. There's a cool, calm, weightlessness to everything, this is incredible. I have a great sense of well being and euphoria.
I feel as though I have a profound purpose on this planet, and everything that has happened to me in my life has happened for a reason, to shape me into the person I will become and am meant to be, I feel profound purpose.
Please know that I am Agnostic in my view of religion and spirituality but this experience has given me a hope that everything will be OK like I've never had before.
I spend about an hour drawing but keep coming up and up. Eventually I am unable to draw as the feeling is becoming very intense.
I have to close my eyes and ride it. I allow myself to be taken, I know that trying to fight it would be unwise.
I keep coming up still more, I'm beginning to get slightly afraid. I don't know if my eyes are open or shut. There is no contrast, the hallucinations are so real. I turn off my light, BOOM!
I'm getting warped through all kinds of wonderful places and abstract realities. I remember getting to a place where I feel as though I am in contact with a god or gods, beings of pure light and energy and either dying or dead, this feeling is fleeting and comes and goes. The more I embrace it the more fearful I am I will not come back from it. I am cautious not to stay in this place for too long.
It's difficult to describe all the places and incredible things. It was organized chaos, like a tsunami of objects, things, feelings and thoughts crashing in, on, and around
each other, churning to form an incredible storm of vivid imagery in the minds eye.
I spent a lot of time flying through the universe, visiting other plains of existence, odd dimensions, witnessing unfathomable things. I must of been a drooling mass in the corner of my bed in reality, but in my mind I was a journeyman, traveling through the unseen, plotting the unexplored parts of a rarely seen realm.
At its most intense point I was able to break through like what seemed the roof of my existence where I was met by an energy or presence not unsimilar to the other beings, but more profound. It held no physical form, it was warm, pure loving energy.
I felt its calmness and sense of perfect being or existence. I asked it for help, now thinking that I had gone insane or retarded myself as I was unable to pull myself out of this place.
I felt I was schizophrenic in some sense of the word, I probably was.( I had been watching HBO OZ earlier that day and was having moments where I thought I had become Cyril O'reilly)
The energy seemed to care about me, it embraced me, reminding me of my mothers hug. It didn't talk, but we understood each other.
It poured into me and gave me its love and a sense that everything was going to be alright.
I kept reminding myself everything would be alright and that it would end. Eventually it did.
This happened over the course of 6-8 hours I theorize, but felt like much longer, more like lifetimes.
I don't remember ever checking what time it was. Time was not relevant in my strange lucid, drug induced, sleep deprived state.
I'm sure trying to grasp the concept of time or even looking at a clock would of been completely lost on me.
I awoke at 12am the next day. With a mild headache and slightly dilated pupils, both symptoms subsided soon after waking.
Anyhow, I am glad to be back and have been left with a new sense of wonder in all things. I also appreciate life a lot more since I feel I came to the brink of destruction.
I was quite sure I was dying at points in the trip and was honestly really scared and curious all the same.
Also please note walking was quite difficult if not almost impossible as I could feel every muscle expand and contract and they all seemed to want to work independently with a mind of there own. I may of pissed all over the bathroom floor.
The fact that I turned the lights off and denied myself of outside stimulation I'm sure added a hell of a lot to the feeling of losing my mind and overall intensity of everything.
This is brief summary or the more indenting parts which I can recall. For my own well being and reflection. I hope others may gain something from it as well.
Life is magic, flowing through us...
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Try under the tongue next time( taste isn't bad at all, just kind of salty) It is supposed to increase the overall effects. 50mg was plenty for me last time I did MXE. Wow sounds like you had a hell of a time though, heh.
Interesting post, thanks for sharing man.
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+1
My MXE should be arriving this week, and I have to say I'm excited to see what all the 'buzz' is about. ;) It's great to read about everyone's experiences on this chemical, it really feels like a different ballgame than I'm accustomed to.
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Interesting experience! I haven't gone this deep on MXE (yet). And yes, sublingual dosing method is more effective.
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Ahhh... This takes me WAAAaayyy back!
Don't do it often, but "hole-ing" yourself every now and again is a good way to shed any pent-up anxiety and gain a different perspective, however, your strength of will and mindset are important in bringing you back! You don't want to end up a husk in a psych ward!
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I usually like to come on slow...40mg first hour,20mg start of second hour then dose 30-mg evry45minutes until my hands get like 3" or smaller hands. Always a dim room with monitor light for best open eye visuals. Usually hour three i can half lower my eyelids and start with awake dreams like Ketamine dreams.
Usually a color and texture begins each dream, then it morphs to what ever my mind tries to make reality, usually elaborate rooms of my own design but if i put my hands over my eyes everything becomes very visual.
One night i was on a higher than normal dose back when i had a dissociative tolerance and i did like 400mg in 4 hours. I got the most amazing sensation of being floated directionally around my awake dreams and with my open eye dreams. it was like my seat did a tilt a whirl around my room and even moved me into closed eye rooms where there was no room in reality to float.
I've been on ceilings looking at the floor and tight fuzzy coffin rooms all are very pleasant.
Music / earbuds are essential.
the comedown is the worst last longer than high about 6 hours.
You stumble around and cant speak properly for the first 3-4 hours and then slur really noticeable...I general take 6-8mg of a benzo a try to get comfy sleep of off mostly.
But Mxe/Dissociatives, once you figure everything out can be the most trippy visuals, very psychedelic.
Also...1 question has anyone had the automatic reversal sensation where your limbs kind do things in reverse.
I've found this happens more with KETAMINE BUT MXE as well at times, crazy when you body hoes stuff in reverse to catch you back up to the same timeframe as reality.
We need Nitrous tanks. :P
nomad bloodbath
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I love MXE!!!!!
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Hot damn, what a journey. I've never tried MXE, but after reading this, I think its time. Maybe I'll spare myself the 150mg dosage though...haha. Good shit though, man. Glad you're back in reality with the memory of the "m-hole" and that awesome energy.
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i think i had my first last night. i seriously thought the world was ending. the only thing i remember was that i felt like my body was turning itself inside out like a a sea anemone. but i seriously thought that the universe was coming to an end and i was being warped into a parallel dimension or something where my life could continue ending in a better fate.. maybe the old me is dead. fucking crazy shit.
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I posted this in another thread, but I suspect I m-holed. Having no experience with K I can't be sure. Anyway, here's my story.
I felt like an Indian god because I had 12 hands. I could feel each one as it froze into existence and then faded away. My body image was not altered, it was destroyed.
It was as if someone had turned the refresh rate down in the matrix. A trail of my body was left as I moved, quantized to some invisible grid.
I had experienced tracers before: the lingering visual artifact of movement, like the blob left in your eyes after getting your picture taken. Move your hand – you can see it sober. But this was different. Someone had turned on an internal strobe light in my brain as I moved.
Everything looked distant like the zoom and focus was off on the camera in my brain or as if I were looking through the wrong end of a pair of binoculars. This became so intense that I left my body entirely.
I stared at my body and my room as if from above, which had taken on a romantic, William S. Burroughs atmosphere to it. The glare of my computer screen barely illuminated my distant body, which now began to buzz in and out of existence. I marveled at how cool it looked, how deviant, heroin-chic everything seemed. And then I opened my eyes.
The sound of my air filter became harsh until it screeched and throbbed and scraped like scrap metal beating against a malfunctioning air conditioning unit. In short, it was the most fascinating noise music I had ever heard.
I found myself walking, but I couldn't feel my limbs move. It felt as if I were on stilts, or rather that my legs themselves had become stilts. I found my limbs snapping into place and resonating like a tuning fork or a stiff spring. Basically, I felt like a robot moving with abrupt, mechanical and effortful movement.
I found my way from my bed to my computer. It seemed miles away and the buzzing noise in my head (now no longer related to my air filter) grew increasingly oppressive and loud. My body had only a vague position in space. I could feel quantum uncertainty rushing through it like waves rushing over the beach.
When I focused on a key on my keyboard, it grew large as if a magnifying glass were being held to it. This made it hard for me to figure out the key's exact position and as I went to strike a key I would invariably miss.
At this point I found it best to lie down again. I began to vibrate and glitch violently. I could no longer focus my eyes properly. It seemed as if I were sitting on a couch watching a television and someone was shaking the camera. This was quite different from shaking one's head or the blurriness and tunnel vision of drinking too much.
At this point my body image became so distorted that as I listened to music I could feel each note move through my body. The music and I melded together into a singular sensation. I was enveloped in the music like a warm blanket.
I liken what happened next to being on a television set, lying on the bed, when all of a sudden the grips pick up and take away the walls to the set, and a the lights go dim and zoom in one your body lying on the bed with a bright spotlight and then zooms out again to reveal that the bed and the stage have entirely disappeared. I'm flying over a surrealist landscape of sound at this point.
It felt as if I was now fully anesthetized, especially on nitrous, being numb to the world and your surroundings, only MXE is different. It's related to Ketamine and nitrous which are used as anesthetics and it felt as if I was anesthetized, except I could still move and I could still think. I wasn't able to simply recall these feeling later, I was fully aware of them at the time, thinking with clarity and focus.
The world was dissolved into an infinitely complex Picasso painting and as if in a dream I was aware of the details only when I focused on them. But when I did, each detail was as complex as the whole and was in and of itself a barely decipherable cubist masterpiece. This marked the beginning of experiencing something too complex for words to describe properly. The only way I can put it is that it felt as if I were moving in and out of a hundred dimensions.